Textmates Ko

Vice Ganda Jokes

2011-10-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

Vice Ganda jokes are one of the hottest searches on the internet. A lot of people especially teens want it so bad for their facebook status or to send to their friends. Some want it for entertainment or just to smile or laugh. Enjoy these Vice Ganda Quotes that I have searched throughout the internet. You are so free to copy and share these quotes. Enjoy!

Sa Opisina.

vice: pasok mo nga dito yung mga papeles ko..

assistance: ser saan ko ipapasok , dito sa loob"?

vice: hinde sa labas, ipasok nga diba.pwede bang ipasok sa labas, sige nga subukang mong ipasok doon sa labas

Another Day

Kararating Lang sa Opis..

assistance: hi. good morning po ser nandito na po pala kayo

vice: hinde wala pa, picture ko lang toh, hindi pa ako to

Naospital yung pamangkin, kasi buntis (dinugo)...

pumuntang emergency

vice: nurse tulong!!

nurse: ano pong nangyayari? manganganak?

vice: ay hinde. ipapatira ko pa lang.dinudugo na nga diba. syempre manganganak na

2nd Attempt

vice: bilisan mo na

nurse: ano pong gusto niyo? tawagin ko si dok?

vice: hinde ako na kaya ko na toh!!!,doon na lang kayo, baka nakakaabala pa ako sa inyo!!

3rd Attempt

tagal ng doctor..

vice: yung ulo ng bata lumabas na!!

nurse: (nagtatakbo) ay ano yan ulo ng bata?

vice: hindi ulo ng tite ng bata..bwiset

Patay Tatay:

vice: umiiyak sa harap ng kabao ng tatay

dumating si bestfriend, hinimas-himas yung likod ni vice

bestfiend: uy, okey ka lang?

vice: ikaw hayop ka, patayin ko tatay mo? okey ka lang!!!!

vice: tarantado ka tatay ko nasa kabao, tapos tatanungin mo ko kung okey ka lang!!!

vice: okey lang ako, ako pumatay eh..bigtime! success patay na eh.. nasan tatay mo sunod na naten?!!! para okey ka den

We Are Joining BC Bloggers!

2011-09-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

This is not a text message or a quotation from a famous artist etc. We are doing this for the sake of BC Bloggers. This is a group of awesome bloggers who will be linking their blogs with one another. This is for one purpose: To have a wider exposure of your blogs.

If you want to learn something about it, visit the blog of the founder of BC Bloggers. If you want to learn something about it, visit pinoy chismoso's tribute for BC Bloggers! *grin*

You can also click the official banner of BC Bloggers on my sidebar. I put it just for you. So see you around!

Need Textmate?

2011-09-04T02:41:00.000-07:00

Let's take a break with tagalog cheesy pickup lines for awhile and take time to find textmates. Are you looking for a smart, globe or sun textmate? Then you must get one on my friend's blog that enables everyone to post there numbers and display there for future textmates. So what are you waiting for? Text mo me na! :P

Bubble Gang Boy Pick Up Lines and Quotes

2011-08-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

Boy Pick Up is indeed popular nowadays which means Bubble Gang really rules every Friday night! Too bad I can't watch it! I can't find more boy pick up lines and quotes so I just only had 3. But do not worry because I will surely update this page as soon as I get enough quotes and lines from Boy pick up of Bubble Gang!

Boy Pick-up: Gusto mo makakita ng magic?

Girl: Magic? Oo! Oo!

Boy Pick-up: ... That's nice ...

Boy Pickup: Hindi ikaw yung taong tipong sinasaktan

Girl: Bakit?

Boy Pickup: Dahil matamis ang Champorado!

Boy Dahon: Ikaw yung tipong hindi ini-small.

Girl: Bakit?

Boy Dahon: Dahil ikaw yung tipong inii-BIG!

If you know Boy pick up lines or quotes you can send it here and I will post it along with your name. :)

tagalog cheesy pickup lines

2011-08-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

Another way to communicate with style is by sending these cheesy pickup lines with your friends and loved ones. Being cheesy or corny is not a sin so you are 100% free to disseminate the awesomeness of these tagalog cheesy pickup lines.

Geometry ba ang favorite subject mo? Kasi kahit anong angle, ang ganda mo eh.

Bastos ka din eh no? pano naman kasi, basta basta ka nalang pumapasok sa puso ko.

Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita? Hinde, kasi lagi kita mamimiss.

Yosi vendor ka ba? Kasi you give me HOPE and MORE!

ako’y isang exam kaya sgutin mo n ako

Kung posporo ka at posporo din ako eh di MATCH tayo..

Miss may mapa ka b dyan? Para alm ko ang daan papunta sa puso mo.

Mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? Kasi pag kasama kita... feeling ko.. "LUCKY ME"

More tagalog cheesy pickup lines to come this September so stay tuned! ;)

Cheesy Pickup Lines 2011

2011-08-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

Have fun and send these cute and funny cheesy pickup lines with your friends or crushes. Make them smile or even laugh by using these corny pickup lines. If you think that romance is overrated these days then make a difference! Be hilarious!

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

"If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!"

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

i’m not feeling myself ltely, perhaps i should feel someone else

I also have a tagalog pickup lines collection here on my blog. You might want to visit it.

Stay tuned for upcoming cheesy pickup lines 2011 because there will be more to come only here on Textmates Ko!

Tagalog Pickup Lines Collection

2011-08-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

I have been searching for a good facebook status when I stumbled to this website that has a great collection of tagalog pickup lines and they are all funny and cute. Although some of them are over rated because of the movie my amnesia girl.

FREEZER ka ba ???

- tinitigasan kasi ako sa yo e !!

Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!!

di pa nga tayo magkakilala pumasok ka na sa puso ko

Kung magkakaroon ako ng sariling planeta, gusto ko ikaw ang axis nito, para sa iyo lang iikot ang mundo ko.

Album ka ba? Kasi single ako.

Steady ka ba? Gusto kitang galawin eh.

Feeling mo ba may kulang sa buhay mo? Baka AKO yun!

Miss,

Alam mo ba, sa lahat ng salita IKAW ang pinakagusto ko! :">

BOY: hey pupunta pa ba ako sa inyo?

GURL: ha bkt? ano meron?

BOY: ay cge dederetso na lng ako sa puso mo

I will be adding more tagalog pickup lines soon. Maybe I will also mix some cheesy pickup lines.

End of Ramadan or Eid Ul Fitr English Greetings SMS

2011-08-24T02:23:00.000-07:00

I am sure we are all excited for the end of ramadan or also known as Eid Ul Fitr! This will be the day where Muslims from all over the globe will end their sacrifices to have a clean soul. So why don't you send this Eid Ul Fitr Quotes and Text Messages to your loved ones? Greet them with these End of Ramdan english greetings via sms!

A Special Wish For A Wonderful Friend On,

" E I D - U L - F I T A R "

May U Find Success In All Endeavors..

May U Find Happiness In Whatever U Do..

May ALLAH Blessings Be Always With U.. !!

*_* ( H A P P Y ) ( E I D ) ( D A Y ) *_*

U fasted,u prayed,

U been good 4 a whole 30 days.

So ur merciful ALLAH gave u a sign,

Out came the moon 2 say come celebrate..

Happy Eid Mubarak

Today i pray that:-

Happiness be at ur door

May it knock early

Stay late & leave the gift of allah

Peace,love,joy & good health behind

shaban mubarak,eid mubarak,

ramadan Mubarak

No shadows to depress u, Only joys to surround u, God himself to bless u, these r my wishes for u, Today, tomorrow, and every day.

Eid Mubarik.

Eid ul-Fitr Quotes and English Text Messages

2011-08-24T02:15:00.000-07:00

Eid ul-Fitr is the end of Ramadan and it means that it will also be the end of fasting or feasting of our Muslim brothers and sisters from all over the world. It also means that after Eid ul fitr, new life will also burst as a result of their sacrifices. Sins are all washed away. I have searched for Eid ul-fitr english quotes for your friends and loved ones. You are free to copy and send it via text message or emails.

Hold to forgiveness, command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant. [7:199]

Have patience with what they say, and leaves them with noble (dignity). [73:10]

And the servants of Allah . . . are those who walked on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say 'Peace' [25:63]

Allah is with those who restrain themselves. [16: 128]

The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto: but if a person forgets and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah." [62:40]

Whoever kills another one without justifiable cause, surely he is killing all of humanity. And whoever saves the life of another one, surely he saves the lives of all of humanity. [Sura Al Ma'aidah: Ayah 32]

"I put my trust in Allah, my Lord and your Lord! There is not a moving creature, but He has a grasp of its forelock. Verily, my Lord is on the straight path. (The truth)" [11:55-56]

Pinoy cheesy pick up lines

2011-06-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

This week's theme of Textmatesko is all about pinoy cheesy pick up lines! I know that alot of peeps out there are looking for unique pinoy cheesy pick up lines until now. So here is the first blow of my pinoy cheesy pick up lines!

This is cheesy! Yum!

May kakambal ka ba?
Kasi you’re in my heart
yet you’re in my mind

Ayoko na sa sarili ko!
Gusto mo sa ‘yo na lang ako?

Kung magiging subject ka…
Gusto ko ikaw ang Pinkamahirap…
Para sa ‘yo lang ako babagsak!

Ang ganda naman ng damit mo bagay sayo…
Pero mas bagay tayo.

Sa hinaba-haba man ng tulog ko.
IKAW pa rin ang dahilan ng pag-gising ko. :)

Alam mo gusto ko sanang mag pulis….
…para ikaw ang MOST WANTED KO!

Copy and Paste the quotes that you liked then send it to your textmates! Be cool and be cheesy! :)

OMG! I am back!

2011-06-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a while right? Now, due to insistent public demand, I will resurrect this blog from stagnation, I am gonna update you guys with free sms, quotes for your friends and loved ones. I cannot wait to update this blog! Thanks to the people who keep on visiting on this blog with only 13 posts. LAME! :) So let us get started!

Textmatesko is officially back!

Kyle xy Text Messages| Kyle xy quotes

2010-02-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

Kyle xy is a cool tv show by ABC company but they cancelled it because they said that it is not attracting viewers anymore. But a lot of people are still searching for this keyword. As a tribute, I will be posting Kyle xy quotes or kyle xy text message.

People who have the most to offer usually believe in themselves the least.

There's a reason why people say we shouldn't expect too much,no one wants to see someone they care about end up disappointed.We instinctively act to protect our own from being hurt, and do what we can to make the right choices for people we love.But the reason we have expectations in the first place, is because we want to aim as high as we can. Because when you love someone, there's no limit to what you can accomplish.

Yo, let's get some juice down here! Sup? Everyone taking stupid pills around here? Juice me!

Josh: Not all of us have your brain power dude.
Kyle: Then you can't afford to waste any, can you?

read mister llama's appeal: Kyle xy season 4 Watch Online

Filipino,pinoy cheesy pick up lines

2010-01-28T05:26:00.000-08:00

Looking for pinoy cheesy pick up lines for your love ones? Filipino are really awesome because they made this pinoy cheesy pick up lines just for pinoys like us. Copy and send this pinoy cheesy pick up lines to your friends and love ones. This is not your old pinoy cheesy pick up lines rather this is the new one!

Are you religious? [Why?] Because you're the answer to my prayers.

I'm a raindrop and I'm falling for you.

Do you have a map? [No, why?] Because I just got lost in your eyes.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

You don't need car keys to drive me crazy.

If a star fell from the sky every time I thought about you, then tonight the sky would be empty.

Is your dad a baker? [No. Why?] Cause you have some nice buns.

Can I have your picture? [Why?] So I can show santa what I want for christmas!

You're like pizza. Even when you're bad, you're good.

Are you an Alien? [No, why?] Because you just abducted my heart.

Want to play WordTrotter? The first filipino game in facebook.

Planning to visit Subic Zambales? You need to find your shelter first. Subic Cheap Hotel is the answer.

Want to remove pimples on your face?

Want Plants vs Zombies Free Download?

Birthday Quotes and Birthday Greetings

2010-01-24T00:33:00.000-08:00

First of all, Happy Birthday!:) Don't forget to send this Birthday Text Messages sms to your love ones! Make them happy and make them smile today. Because today is the most special day of their lives! This Birthday sms Greetings are brought to you by Textmates Ko.

Birthday Wishes One Liner

A simple celebration, a gathering of friends; here is wishing you great happiness, a joy that never ends.

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Not just a year older, but a year better.

Birthday Greetings and Birthday Text Messages

Hope your birthday blossoms into lots of dreams come true!

May your special day be filled with memories and flowers, friendship and happy hours.

You were born to party.

Hope you have the greatest Birthday ever!

Want to play WordTrotter? The first filipino game in facebook.

Planning to visit Subic Zambales? You need to find your shelter first. Subic Cheap Hotel is the answer.

Want to remove pimples on your face?

Want Plants vs Zombies Free Download?

Birthday Text Messages|Qoutes|Greetings

2010-01-23T07:10:00.000-08:00

Send this Birthday Greetings|Birthday Qoutes| Birthday Text Messages to your love ones. Happy Birthday to you!

One today is worth two tomorrows! Happy Birthday Friend!

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.Happy Happy Birthday!

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Happy Birthday Dude!

There is still no cure for the common birthday. More Birthdays to come!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Happy Happy Birthday!

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. Birfday!

Youth is a disease from which we all recover. Happy Birthday! More Power dude!

Want to play WordTrotter? The first filipino game in facebook.

Planning to visit Subic Zambales? You need to find your shelter first. Subic Cheap Hotel is the answer.

Want to remove pimples on your face?

Want Plants vs Zombies Free Download?

Funny Pakistan Jokes| Pakistani Jokes in Urdu

2010-01-22T02:34:00.000-08:00

Enjoy this funny pakistani jokes and funny jokes in Urdu language. Copy them and send this funny jokes to your friends.

Earthquake in Pakistan

The news reported today that there has been a powerful earthquake in Pakistan last night, measuring 9.2 on the Richter scale. A reported 335,000 Pakastanis are confirmed dead and another 239,000 are missing.
The world is horrified by the event, and are rushing to aid Pakistan.
The United States is sending 10 billion dollars immediately with more expected to follow
The United Kingdom is sending food, clothing, and supplies to aid the suffering citizens.
Canada is sending 500,000 replacement Pakastanis.

Pakistani Captured Them

Three indian soldiers, jai reddy (tamil), joy bosu (bengali), and santa Singh are captured by pakistani army. The pakistani corp commander does not want to have them as pows and has decided to execute them. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.

The reddy asks for a masala dosa, which he is served and then taken away.

The boss requests a machli bhath, which he is served and also taken away.

Santa requests sarson ka saag and makki di roti. The captors are surprised and reply ‘ sarson?’

‘yes, sarson.’

‘arre sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!’

‘koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga…’

Long Lines

A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns after a few hours and rejoins the line.
“Did you manage to kill him“, everyone asks him.
“No, that line is longer than this one“, he replies.

Two Dogs

Upset with Zardari
His dog jumped into
A dirty sewer
Said it’s not fair
To live under one roof
For dogs two

Want to play WordTrotter? The first filipino game in facebook.

Planning to visit Subic Zambales? You need to find your shelter first. Subic Cheap Hotel is the answer.

Want to remove pimples on your face?

Want Plants vs Zombies Free Download?

Friendship Quotes| Friendship Text Messages

2010-01-21T01:52:00.000-08:00

Copy this friendship quotations or friendship text messages and send them to your best friends out there. Give them a smile and send them a simple hi.

There’s no substitute for a
friend.
None.
No one.
Nada.
Not even chocolate.

Will chocolate answer the
phone at 3 am?
Of course not.
Only a friend can listen.
Only a friend can
understand.
Only a friend can kick your
butt with perfect timing and
totally endearing honesty.
I’ve tried oversleeping,
marathon movies, all night
TV, and chocolate to solve
my problems.
What i need, crave, love,
appreciate and count on
most of all is a friend.
YOU.

emo text messages| emo quotes english

2010-01-19T08:52:00.000-08:00

Emo Text Messages and Emo quotes in English

"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else in return."

"Don't say you love me unless you really mean it, cause I might do something crazy like believe it."

"It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does."

"Just live and breathe
And try not to die again."

"When the shadows beam
Misery remains
I won't leave this time."

"One can only feel desolate for so long Until one starts to change Into something the mirror doesn't recognize I metamorphasize"

"Now I'm driven to be ten times better than you think you are Piece my piece I've built my walls And burned the bridges down That lead back to people like you"

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see The pain someone feels

Whats the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away?

Every night i talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you tho.. far away and never replies to my questions

Why do people tell you to believe in what you want to but then tell you not to believe in the one true thing you do believe in?

Times a precious thing to waste, but friends are more precious

On a tombstone:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.

Do not ask which creature screams in the night, Do not question who waits for you in the shadow. It is my cry that wakes you in the night, And my body that crouches in the shadow. I am Tzeench and you are the puppet That dances to my tune."

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it unless it has all been suffering, nothing but suffering.

Tags: Emo quotes, emo quotations, emo textmessages, emo kowts, dark quotes

Valentine's Day Quotes, Romantic Text messages

2010-01-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

Love is in the air. And I would like to share my collection of the sweetest quotations and the most romantic Text messages this Valentine's Day. Copy this valentine's day quotes and send them to your love ones now.

My lips want to kiss you. My eyes want to see you. My hands want to touch you. Every part of me wants you, maybe, because I was made just for you! Happy Valentimes Day!

You must be a thief because you stole my heart. You must be tired because you are always running through my mind. And maybe, I’m a bad shooter because I keep missing you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

I miss you when there’s no reason. How much more if there was? I miss you when we talk, how much more if we don’t? I miss you after we’re together, how much more if I see you never? I miss you now, how much more later? Happy Valentine’s Day!

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.

If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with.

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.

Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.

Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion
that each include the other,
each is enriched by the other.

To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others, to give one's self...
this is to have succeeded.

when i first saw yo i was afraid to meet you when i first met you i was afraid to kiss you when i first kissed you i was afraid to love you but now that i love you im afraid to loose you

You may never know how important you are to me or how much I care for you, but you are and you will always be. Bear in mind that I couldnt afford to lose someone I've learned to care about so much.

I love you, not because of what you have but because of what I feels.. I care for you, not because you need care but because I want to.. I'm always here for you, not because i wan't you to be with me but because i want to be with you..

I Often Catch Myself Constantly Wondering How You Are, Sitting Alone With My Mind Set So Far, Reminiscing About Your Smile...All I Think About Is You. Your My First Thought In The Morning When I Get Up & Your My Last Thought When I Go To Bed...Can't You See I Love You & I Did For Almost 2 Years Now? I Love You So Much!

love hurts u deep but never give up that one speacal person cuz once there gone they might not ever come back

I don't want you to go away... Because, I can't cry without you... Please come back until you agree... I will never let you go.. Even I must jump off a building... I will do it, just for you...

If one person died for every picture of u tht popped into my mind there would be no one else on earth.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Enjoy this day with your love ones and spend it wisely.

Tags: Valentine's Day quotes, Valentine's day quotations, I love you quotes, Valentine's day text messages, Romantic quotations, hamster valentine's day, happy heart's day

Pinoy Pick Up Lines Tagalog: Very Cheesy!

2010-01-19T07:39:00.000-08:00

Pinoy pick up lines tagalog are really the best! They can be used as an instrument to make girls say WOW! This lines are the best "pambanat sa nililigawan". So this is my own list of pinoy cheesy pick up lines. Brought to you by Textmates Ko.

__________

1) Kumain ka ba ng asukal? - ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo.
2) I'm a bee - can you be my honey?
3) May lahi ka bang keyboard? - type kasi kita
4) Papupulis kita! - ninakaw mo kasi puso ko
5) Are you a dictionary? - coz you add meaning to my life
6) I lost my number - can I have yours?
7) I forgot your name - can I call you mine?
8) Ice ka ba? - crush kita, okay lang?
9) Sweswertihin ka sa pagibig ngayong taon - pag naging akin ka
10) Meralco ka ba? - pag ngumiti ka kasi may spark
11) Crayola ka ba? - kasi nagbibigay ka ng kulay sa buhay ko
12) EDSA ka ba? - di kasi ako makapagmove on
13) Bangin ka ba? - nahulog kasi ako sa'yo
14) May butas ba yang puso mo? - natrap kasi ako, can't find my way out
15) Pustiso ka ba? - kasi I can't smile without you
16) Miss, alam mo ba? Hindi tayo Tao, hindi tayo Hayop, at hindi rin tayo Halaman, Bagay tayo, Bagay.
17) Nabibingi ka na ba? Coz my heart has been screaming out your name for quite some time now..
18) Centrum ka ba? Kasi you make my life complete!!
19) Exam ka ba? Gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!
20) Pwede ba kita maging driver? Para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko..
21) Tapos na ba ung exam mo? Para ako nman sagutin mo..
22) Ok lang na ako ang magbayad ng tuition fee mo..? Basta pag-aralan mo lang akong mahalin
23) Alam mo ba na scientist ako?? At ikaw yung LAB ko.
24) May lisensya ka ba? Coz you're driving me crazy..
25) May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo? May sira ata relo ko.. pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras ko..
26) Aanhin pa ang gravity... kung lagi lang akong mahuhulog sa iyo?
27) Mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? Kasi pag kasama kita... feeling ko.. "LUCKY ME"
28) Am i a bad shooter? Coz i keep on missing you... (not exclusively pinoy. oh well)
29) Kung posporo ka at posporo din ako eh di MATCH tayo..
30) Favorite subject mo ba geometry? Kasi kahit anong angle,ang cute mo..

__________

Tags: Pinoy pick up lines, cheesy sms, cheesy textmessages, tagalog pick up lines

Get Free Puzzle Quotes and Puzzle SMS: Puzzling SMS, IQ test sms

2010-01-18T03:19:00.000-08:00

Send this mind bugling puzzle quotes and puzzle sms to your friends and other relatives. Test their IQ with this Free IQ test quotes and IQ test SMS. Enjoy!

Jimmy's mother has five children namely:

1. CHACHEY

2. CHECHIY

3. CHICHOY

4. CHOCHUY

5. (name d last) ??.

__________

Can you beat this logic?

A man and his wife were getting divorce at a local court. The mother wants the custody of their children, but the father also wants the same... The mother said to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain the custody of the them. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and said,"Judge, if I put a dollar into a vending machine and a pepsi comes out, does the pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

__________

I am a thing...
The fishermen love me...
The doctors hate me...
Kids want to eat me...
I am a 13 letter word:
What am I? _H_T_ _ _I_ _ME_

__________

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis:

The wife said she was sleeping...
The cook was cooking breakfast...
The gardener was picking vegetables outside...
The maid was in the post office mailing letter...
The butler said he was cleaning the closet upstairs...

After that, the police arrested the suspect immediately!
Q: Who was the murderer and how did you find out?

__________

One Car Rs 4
One Bike 50 Paisa
One Cycle 25 Paisa
Purchase 20 Vehicals in 20rs,
It is necessary to purchase every thing at-least one.

__________

5 Frogs Are Sitting On a Log.
4 Decide To Jump Off.
How many Are Left?
?
?
?
?
Still 5 left.
.
.
Moral:
There's a Lot of Difference Between Deciding and Doing.

__________

Solve this riddle:-
“The Fishermen love me.
But doctors hate me.
Kids want 2 eat me.
I am a 13 letter word,
Who am I? Hint
_H_T_ _ _I_ _ME_

__________

I am made of 5 letters,
If U remove the first letter,
It is part of our body.

If U remove the second letter,
It is everywhere!

Guess what ???!

HAIR

AIR
-
-
-
-
-
-

__________

Tags: Puzzle sms, puzzle quotes, free puzzle quots, free puzzle kowts, free riddle quotes, free IQ test quotes

Bob Ong Quotes Tagalog and Bob Ong's Love Quotes

2010-01-17T09:59:00.000-08:00

Bob Ong is very popular right now so I compiled Bob Ong Quotes in tagalog and Bob Ong Love Quotes. Send them for free! Only here on Textmatesko.

Talaga namang napaganda ng mga linyang binibitawan ni Bob Ong sa kanyang mga aklat. Sino nga ba naman ang hindi nakakakilala kay Bob Ong diba? At sa mga linyang kanyang nakapag pangiti, naka iyak, at lubos na tumama sa ating mga puso. Kaya heo ang listahan ng mga kasabihan ni Bob Ong.

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"nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."

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"...mas marami pa s'yang alam kesa sa nakasulat sa Transcript of Records n'ya, mas marami pa s'yang kayang gawin kesa sa nakalista sa resume n'ya, at mas mataas ang halaga n'ya kesa sa presyong nakasulat sa payslip n'ya tuwing sweldo."

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"...madaming teacher sa labas ng eskwelahan. desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo."

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"mag-aral maigi; kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka sa pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher."

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"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!"

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"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

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"kung kabayo gagawa ng libro mahirap maging palaging politically correct para sa mga damo"

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"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

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"hikayAtin m0 LahAt ng kakilala m0 na mAgkaro0n kahit isA man lang paboritong libro sa bu0ng buhay nilA..dahil walA ng mas nakakaawa pa sa mga ta0ng literado per0 hindi nagbabAsa "

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"kung paniniwalaan namin kayo na hindi naglaro ng tubig kahit na basa ang damit n'yo, kayo ang niloloko namin; hindi kayo ang nakapanloloko."

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"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit.sobrang luri. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."

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"Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera?Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay."

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"ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko "

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"iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala"

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"mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"

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"Titingnan mo ba ang basong kalahating bawas o kalahating puno?"

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"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan."

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"bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali, alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?

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"hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."

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"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

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"hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

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"Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

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"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."

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"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

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"Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa'yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?"

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"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan...""

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"Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao."

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"Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko."

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"Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras."

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"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

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"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

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"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

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"Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan.
In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!"

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Tags: Quotes ni bob ong, Bob Ong textmessage, bob ong quotes, bob ong sms, bob ong collection

Funny Pinoy jokes ever! Grab them here now!

2010-01-17T08:47:00.000-08:00

Grab your mobile phone and copy these funny pinoy jokes then pass them to your friends! This list is a compilation of the funny pinoy jokes textmessages|SMS for your phone. Grab them for FREE only here on Textmates ko!

Eto na ang pinaka walanghiyang banat:

"Miss may baril ka ba?

Patira naman kahit isang putok lang..."

*************************************************************************************************************Ina: Anak matalino ka daw sa math sabi ng titser mo
Anak: Opo
Ina: sige kunwari binigyan kita ng 5 apples and 3 grapes. Ano ang sago mo?
Anak: Thank you po!!!

*************************************************************************************************************

Ilang beses ka man maligo
at uminom ng tubig
buksan mo man ang aircon
ion mo man ang electric fan
eh kung katabi mo naman ako?

Talagang magiinit ka!!!

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Huwag kang iiyak kapag iniwan ka niya!!
Wag mong sisirain buhay mo kung wala na siya
Ni wag mo siya habulin kapag umalis siya
Sabihin mo lang:

"Di umalis ka!!! gusto mo tulak pa kita?"

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Isang probinsyano nagrent ng room sa hotel

Prob: alam ko probinsyano lang ako kaya wag mo akong lokohin! bakit ganito room ko?
Maliit!! walang kama at bintana!! mahal na mahal ng binayad ko tapos ganito lang??

Roomboy: Sir nasa elevator pa lang tayo.. Huwag kang excited!!!

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"Rape is not a crime...

its just a surprise SEX

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Bakit kelangan mo pa ng relo

Kung handa naman akong ibigay lahat ng oras ko sau?

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Mike: bakit lumaki ang paa ni Amy?
Jun:Sinipa yung punso
Mike:Bakit lumaki ang nguso ni Fee?
Jun: diruan yung punso. O san ka pupunta pare?
Mike: iihi sa punso!!!

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Student life is hard...
full of problems
puyat
pagod
and when you feel you cant do it anymore
Stand up
be confident to say...

"Mam...

Fuck You!!!

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Nene: nay pinatambling ako kanina sa school
Nanay: gaga!! gusto lang nila makita panty mo!!!
Nene: Alam ko!!! kaya nga tinago sa bag yung panty ko eh..

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Tags: Find the funniest pinoy jokes, funny textmessages|SMS, funniest textmessages|SMS,Funniest Tagalog Textmessage|SMS

Valentines Day Text Messages

2010-01-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

Grab this collection of Valentines day Text Messages for your love ones and friends. Sending Valentines Day Text Messages is an awesome way to show your love even though you are pretty far from them.

Romantic Valentines Day Text Messages

No poems no fancy words I just want the world to know that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart. Happy Valentines Day.

My eyes are blind without your eyes to see,
Like a rose without color. Always be there in my life sweetheart.

U r unique
U r caring and
U r the Best.
And I am d luckiest to have U in my life!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY MY SWEET HEART!

Without Love -- days are sad day, moan day, tears day, waste day, thirst day, fright day, shatter day. So be in love everyday...Wish you a Happy Valentines Day.

If I could die early I would ask God if I could be your guardian angel, so I could wrap my wings around you and embrace you whenever you feel alone.

Let's share the world
A sea is for you, and waves are for me.
The sky is for you, and stars are for me.
The sun is for you, and light is for me.
Everything is for you, and you are for me.

Here is my heart, it is yours so take it,
Treat it gently, please do not break it.
Its full of love thats good and true,
So please keep it always close to u.

I Miss You: Valentines Day Text Messages

If u wanna know how much I miss you,
Try to catch rain drops,
The ones u catch is how much u miss me,
and the ones you miss is how much I miss

Memories sometimes behave in a crazy way. They leave u alone,
when u are in a crowd & when u are alone they stand along with u like a crowd.

In School, They Taught Me That
1 hour = 60 Mints
1 Min = 60 Secs
But They Never Told Me That
1 Sec Without You = 100 Years:

When the sky looks blue "I Miss u" when the dreams come true "I Miss u" when the flowers covered with dew "I Miss u" when the day comes new "I Miss u"

I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned to see who it was, I noticed it was alone, then realized it was my heart beat telling me “I MISS U”

In The Flower My Rose Is You,
In The Diamond My Kohinoor Is You,
In The Sky My Moon Is You,
I'm Only Body My Heart Is You,
That's Why I Always MISS YOU

I Love You: Valentines Day Text messages

If you wake up 1 day and were asked to have a wish, what would it be? Mine would be that our love would last until you see an apple in an orange tree

I finally got my past, present and future tenses correct today. I loved you. I love you. I will love you forever! :).

'I Trust You' is a better compliment than 'I Love You' because you may not always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust.

24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
Person like u will make my life lovely.
Happy Valentines Day

If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever
If Your asking if I'll Leave U the answer is Never
If Your asking what I value the Answer is U
if Your asking if I love U the answer is I do.

God is wise when he did not put a price tag on you darling. If he did, I won’t be able to afford to have a boyfriend (girlfriend) as precious as you.

Proposal: Valentines day text messages
If I reached for your hand , will u hold it ?
If I hold out my arms, will u hug me ?
If I go for your lips, will u kiss me ?
If I capture ur heart , will u love me ??

As days go by, my feelings get stronger,
To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.
Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,
Day & Night my thought r of U..

All I wanted was sum1 2 care 4 me
All I wanted was sum1 who'd b there 4 me
All I ever wanted was sum1 who'd b true
All I ever wanted was sum1 like U...

Get them for FREE! Brought to you by Textmates Ko! You source of free SMS for your love ones!

Tags: Where can I download free valentine SMS?, Free valentine text messages, Free SMS, Valentines Day Quotes
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